Pages

Friday, May 7, 2010

Southern by the grace of God- late-night rambling rant

I was born, raised, and plan on dying in the American South.  I am a real southerner, whose family has been in the "Old Dominion" (thats Virginia) since it was fairly new to the settlers (at least as early as the 1640's).  I have ancestors who defended this commonwealth in the Revolutionary War, French and Indian War, the Civil War (though at least one prominent member of my family found a desk job in the Confederate Treasury signing currency instead of going into combat), and my grandfather even helped defend the Chesapeake Bay from German U-boats in World War II.  My genetic forbearers were willing to put their lives on the line to defend their home.  And rightly I am proud of the home they left me.  I am proud to be a citizen of the US (we got our problems, but who doesn't), I am proud to be a Virginian, and.... well...(cough)...

I am Southerner and proud of it.

That is why is disturbs me to see people misconstrue what that means and view it as a negative.  Many people in the North or out West tend to think of southerners as being uneducated, slack-jawed, lazy racist (I will only fess up to being lazy; and that is just me personally, not the whole south).  And I will admit that there are some uneducated, slack-jawed, lazy racist in the South, but I have met people like that everywhere.  I will admit that there is a contingent of uneducated, slack-jawed, lazy racist that tend to pick up screen-printed Northern Virginia Battle flags (Stars and Bars), some bumper-stickers about loving-it-or-leaving-it, and a stars and bars hat at a truck stop and act like it is cool to be a racist and swear that "The South shal rise again(oddly, all the biggest Rebel Flag-Waving red-necks I have ever met were from PA).  But there is a whole baby/bathwater issue we need to be careful about.

A common misconception is the the Civil War was about slavery.*  The truth is the plantation owners were not the majority of the people in the Rebel trenches.  Many were small time farmers, tradesmen, merchants, teachers, or other middle to low class jobs.  Their lively-hood was effected by plantations b/c they were in the region with them, but they were not the biggest factor in their daily lives, as the plantations were mostly self-sufficient and shipped most of their harvest over-seas or to the North for processing.

* I have taken a number of upper division college histories that touch on the causes of the Civil War, and an interesting thing to do is listen to the professor's view of the cause of the Civil War and figuring where they went to school.  Without fail, every Prof from the North will put a bigger emphasis on slavery then states rights or economics, and profs from the South will give the states rights argument.  feel free to disagree with my argument, but I looked at the evidence and it is clear to me.

So if the common soldier's income was not dependent on plantations' nearly-free labor staying nearly-free, why would they risk their lives fighting to keep the rich guys rich?  (Its like me attacking Apple's headquarters to make Microsofts' market share increase, and I don't own stock).  The reason was not that the North was forcing the South to free their slaves before the war, as they did not.  Though the North had a history of trying to contain the expansion of slavery into the new territories and states, they made no attempts to end slavery until the Emancipation Proclamation, and that was more of a strategic move on the North's part with the aim of causing slave up-risings in the South.

The South felt that the North was using its majority political power in Washington to pass laws that were unfair economicly to the more sparsely populated South.  The main complaint of the South was that the North put artificially high tariffs on raw materials grown in the South and shipped to Europe.  By doing this the North made it more profitable for the South to sell their cotton and other crops to the them at a much lower price, rather then paying the excessive export tax to ship it to a raw material hungry Europe.  This coupled with the dropping price of cotton was devastating to the South's economy and put many farmers into great debt to Northern money lenders.  This was an abuse of power in the Souths eyes, and was the reason the Southern states decided to leave the Union (Thomas Jefferson's view on this- "Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny. ").

The South felt that since each state joined the United States freely, they were allowed to leave the Union freely.  The North did not want to see their personal cash-cow walk away from the herd, so they objected to this.  The early events of the "War of Northern Aggression" were acted out in a series of calculated and logical maneuvers that lead to almost inevitable start of fighting in NC.  There were a lot of tiny factors at  play here, but I will not get into them here for the sake of the reader.  The end result of this struggle was chaotic, horrible, and tragically unnecessary.

The Rebels fought valiantly, and often gave their lives fighting for a cause they felt was important- living free of oppressive government rule (why not? they did it once before and kicked England's ass).  But the South's lack of supplies (North Blockaded the Southern ports and the South did not have a lot of factories to produce needed goods), much smaller population, and untested/newly formed government proved to be no match against the Northern forces.  Since the North won the war, they got to write the history (a long standing tradition that is being stomped dead by the internet in modern times); and clearly they would not choose to write that the South's complaint was that it was being unfairly treated by the North controlled government.  The North pinned the war on the pre-war "elephant in the room"- slavery...  And so it is viewed today by all the children educated in the North.  So it is only a short logic step to assume that anyone who wants to do anything as wrong owning another human# , must be at least one step closer to being a cave-dwelling troglodyte.  So that is were the modern view of Southerners being stupid, inbreed (thats West Virginia if your looking), racist probably came from.  "The South is so backward that they don't know any better.  We should really pity them."  This stigma is strongly seen in the media to this day (look at Family Guy for example).

#Not that I am defending this practice, but things like this being view out of their historical/social context are hard to rationalize in ones mind.  Look at the Spartans, they had sex with little boys and everyone was ok with it.  Different time, different place, different expectable activities.

===>an interesting side note: Plantations were not as profitable right before the Civil War as the once were.  Maintaining the huge complex of buildings, laborers (free and slave), and overseers- was not efficient any more.  Some plantations had already started to stop large scale agriculture in-favor of "share cropping" their land out to small poor farmers.  When you merely collect a portion of the harvest from the people using your land, you are not responsible for their personal well being like you would be for slaves, which were expensive and belonged to the plantation (you treat your property nicer then others.  Don't believe me? loan your neighbor/roommate something you like and watch how they treat it when they think your not watching).  This system allowed the share-cropper to fall into a debt spiral with the owner, fueled by giving a large portion of the crops to the owner and buying farming supplies from the owner on credit.  A system like this was later used through out the north in "company towns" built around factories and mines (I think these systems, though commonly viewed as better, are much more abusive then slavery.  You make sure you keep your investment of a slave well fed and alive so they can work, you can just get another immigrant to replace one when you break him for no cost).  Since this system was much more profitable and easier for the former plantation owners, it flourished through out the South after the Civil War.  Given time, the South would have probably slowly converted to primarily share-cropping and abolition of slavery would have come on its own (though I am not sure how long that would have realistically taken)

And sure we have our share of uneducated, slack-jawed, lazy, racist Red-Necks; but New York has a lot of uneducated, slack-jawed, lazy, racist, Wanna-be-Gangsters; Texas has a lot of uneducated, slack-jawed, lazy, racist in cowboy hats; and California has a lot of uneducated, slack-jawed, lazy, racist who try to pretend they are not.  Same assholes, different flavor.

So when I wear my "CS" belt buckle, fly a Bonnie Blue flag (both of which only a small portion of the population can identify and I have never had anyone get offended b/c of it), or admit that I am from the South- I don't want you to think I am sub-human and I think black people are property; I just want you to realize it is part of my family's history and I am proud of it.

Their is much more shameful things to have in your family's history then willingness to die for freedom from oppression.


On a lighter note: We, the South, really do love our sweet-tea.  Yankee's don't really seem to get it, but it is kinda like the equivalent to pizza in New York City, beer in Chicago, tacos in New Mexico, or Sister dating in West Virginia.  It is a basic part of life and when it is done wrong you are going to have to bitch about it to someone.
Here is a song sung by a middle aged white woman, who is loved by other middle aged white women, about the brown water the South loves so much. (get a load of her audience, there is not a single man, or a woman under the age of 35 in it)




     
***Update: get a load of this thing i found will looking for pics.  Thought it was interesting.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

WTF Wednesday: Creepy Blue Things- In Your Mouth

Ok, I know it is important to teach kids certain things about safety and what may harm them, but this is just wrong.  It might just be my warped mind, but I kept getting images of deranged blue fluff balls trying to perform oral sex.  This is a thing that is near the top of my list of "Not Cool THings".
But take the message of the video to heart- If you are a creep blue fluff ball, make sure it is ok before putting a thing in your mouth.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Flash Back Saturday- The Noid

Remember this guy?  That is right, He's the Noid and he wants your damn Pizza.  Just like a college roommate, if you leave your pie sitting around for just a second it is gone.
The thing that I really love about this marketing Icon was that some how he permeated our culture so deep, that the latest and greatest gaming system of the day, The NES, put out a game staring him I actually wanted.


Friday, April 23, 2010

Foodie Friday: Bento Boxes- Art in-gestion

Bento boxes are a tradtional Japanese (and a few other parts of asia) lunch that is carreid to work or school.  As it was explained to me by 2 diffrent half Korain freinds (both have very tradtional Koreian mothers), the meals are preapared at home by the mother almost as a symbol of the level of devotion the mother has to her children and spouse.  They regailed me with stories of hot dogs cut and then blanched to resible octupie, sandwiches cut in the shapes of popular cartoon charectures, and other ornaite time consuming lengths their mothers went through to produce an entertaing tribute to the love of their family.  If I had a heart I would be tuched by such a sentament.
But the part that really gets my attention is the level of deatil some of these boxes have and the creative use of food and themes the makers put into them.
I submit to you the geeker examples I have found in this area.
"OOOOOOOO" Homer Simpson
Boild egg googaly eyes and a lettuce and sausage hat, Homer is ready for anything.


[via: seriouseats.com]
Super Smash Brother Bento
OK I am really impressed with this one.  just look at the scene that tells wonderful story of how Yoshi Kicks Ass and takes names.  Truly art.

[Via: technabob.com]
Big Daddy Bento
Dude.
That's all I Can say.
Dude.
[Via:threevue.com]
Duh...Duh...Duh... Duuhhhhhhh
Two of my favorite things that are green- Link and broccoli.

and to round out the carbo-loaded geek-fest, a classic-
[Via- sparehed.com]
My Favorite Chaotic Couple-
Calvin and Hobbes.

Do a Google image search, if you like, and post any other cool boxes you come across in the comments.
   

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Earth Day 2010


It's Earth Day again, and you know what that means.... A day full of reminders from passionate individuals of how you are not just failing yourself, your familly, your species, but also the very planet you live on.
Don't get me wrong, I love the planet and a good portion of the things on it, but this annual celebration of half hearted attempts to be a little less harmful to the planet I find to be empty and half-baked. The 1 out of 10 people that realize it's Earth Day will harp on other 9 about environmentalism on a very shallow level (make sure bring your own bags to the store, turn off the faucet when you brush your teeth) to the point of making people want to harm the environment to "get back at the damn Tree-Huggers".

Try to educate, not annoy your fellow inhabitants of Earth.  Thats all I am saying.

Some helpful environmental links that I like and Follow:
http://www.lnt.org/-I am a certified trainer in LNT and suggest anyone who travels in the out of doors at least looks at the guidelines.

http://www.recyclart.org/- great source of artistic uses for stuff that would get thrown away.

http://blog.holyscraphotsprings.com/- Hippies w/ webpage.  Great source for how to live closer to the earth in your daily life.

http://newworldgeek.com/- Great site, been on "temporary" hiatus since June, but look at the archives.


Have you Huged your planet today?
  

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

WTF Wednesday: Those Silly Japs #1

I love the way Japan does everything on a level we just can't compete with.  They work harder and they play harder (and much weirder).  It's like they are on Ritalin half the day and drunk the other half.  I have gotta get out there one day to hang with those crazy SOBs.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Woman blames sexual disfunction on Video Games

I am not talking about not getting laid b/c her boy-friend is on a 42 hour Modern Warfare marathon.
An Article a Yahoo News cover the story of a woman that blames the Wii Fit for her uncontrollable sexual urges.  If this does not make every man buy their lady friends Wii Fit, nothing will.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Beer Tasting: Kick in the Glass- Chili


So I got bored one night (as I do all too often), had no where to go and nothing to do (I need more exciting friends), so my roommate and I decided a beer would be nice (meaning we were awake and sober), so we opened the mini fridge finding this sad sight........

Ok, this probably requires some explanation, b/c I don't want people think that I buy Nat'i. I swear some random guest brought it into my house during a party and I must have missed it (If I had spotted it I would have made them leave it out side, but the damage has been done and it is useful to distract stupid people from the good beer). Also, I am not responsible for the Red Bull (Bull piss) or the Bud Select (carbonated water), but I find them less offensive then the Nat'i. Sadly I was between batches of homebrew at the time (my current ones might have a post later).

So clearly I had no beer to drink in the house- This is something that had to be rectified for my evening to progress. My Roommate and I went down to the closest wine/beer shop to pick up some interesting beers to play around with. We both picked the ever popular "build-your-Own six-pack" option and grabbed a few odd this's and that's to make the night fun. I grabbed a couple Double Bocks (my first beer love), a couple IPAs (a newer interest), a berry hard cider (I had similar cider in the fermenter at the time and wanted a bench mark), and one very odd and slightly scary beer, a chili lager.

Now, I have been kicking around the idea of chili in beer for a while. I know it sounds demented and gross to almost everyone. But I really love chills and beer and have been toying with the idea of Frankenstein-ing together the two.

This being said, I still had no idea what to expect from this golden elixir with its menacing green pepper bobbing around on the bottom. I sat with my bottle Crazy Ed's Cave Creek Chili Beer in my hand for a while while I debated if I actually wanted to drink this.

There were some signs that this might not be a great beer- 1. Its bottle is clear, a color normally only reserved for crappy Mexican Lagers, good sodas, and bitch drinks like Zima and Mike's hard Lemon-aide. 2. Its label was completely metallic gold in color (like a 1st grader got a hold of the glitter unsupervised and went ape-tits on his art project) and falling off. 3. The chili had spots on it. I am not sure if it was a result of taking up residence in the beer, or if they just use crappy produce in the production. Either way, it is not very appetizing to the viewer.

I popped the cap and heard the familiar his of gas escaping the bottle, but this time instead of making my mouth water and my pulse quicken, I felt slightly ill and nervous. The astringent smell of toxicly strong green chills reached my nose almost immediately. It was strong and it did not even have a hint of beer to its bouquet. I had already resigned to drink the beer, so I poured it into the waiting pint glass.

Glug, Glug, Glug, Plop- as the pepper haphazardly dove in to my glass. It danced on the bottom in swirling motion, much like a child tiring to dizzy them-self by spinning with arms out-stretched. The color was a typical light amber, the head had very little retention- typical for lighter lagers, and the smell was distinctly reminiscent to that of a jar of pickled jalapenos.

I could not avoid drinking this brew much longer.  After holding the glass up to the light to give the questionable looking pepper a final salute, I partook of the pungent potion.

It burned. At First there was no taste at all, as my tongue was too distracted my the sheer amount of heat. The warm feeling of spicy heat enveloped everything from my mouth to my stomach. After what seemed like an hour (but was only a second tops) the taste came, and it was green, grassy peppers. A flavor I love and long for from time to time. But the flavor was too astringent in its delivery and the enjoyment was not there. The heat (maybe given through the addition of some capsaicin concentrate of some kind) swallowed the the fruitiness of the peppers and blocked out all traces of the malt and hops. All that was left was grassy heat.  It was powerful, yet completely lacking the complexity to keep my interest beyond my second sip.

I did break a sweat as a continued to brute-forced my way through the pint, but I endured.  I would have dumped the glass, but I payed good money for that beer and I firmly believe in the "No Beer Left Behind" mantra.

As I tipped the glass up to get the last bit into my now abused gullet, the pepper menacingly rolled toward me. "Should I?" I wondered aloud.  My house-mate, who I nearly had forgotten was by my side, laughing at me, through this entire ordeal replied- "You already got the bitch drunk, You might as well fuck her."  I shrugged as I tweezed the soggy pepper out of the bottom of the glass with my stretched fingers and examined it one last time. Its spots were even more off-putting without the glass between us; its flesh was overly soft like it has been boiled for hours, and its plastic skin was slick and shiny. Despite my repulsion at the idea, I bit the pepper from the stem and crewed.

Fire. The heat shot through my sinuses and made my eyes tear up.  My face, already damp with perspiration, reportedly turned noticeably redder.  It was a pulpy in texture, like wet tissue paper. I had to ditch the pepper mush in my mouth fast. I spat into a trash can in the next room after a frantic/spastic dash/dance to it.

It was over. I beat the beer. The pepper beat me. 1 out of 2 ain't too bad.

Afterwards, While i sat on the couch letting the burn linger through my mouth and down my esophagus, I contemplated chilies possible role in beer. Chilies come in many varieties- some fruity, some spicy, some are dried to intensify, and some are smoked to add complexity.  Beer uses all sorts of things to add to the beer- coffee, fruit, chocolate, cloves, honey, and other edibles.  Why can't the chili?

The people at Crazy Ed's concentrated on heat and shock factor with this beer.  I will agree that they did accomplished that.  But there is a lot more one can do with the chili then make people sweat and turn red.  Using the less spicy, fruiter, and maybe even smoked peepers available at the average supermarket, a quality enjoyable beer maybe possible.  I think chilies can be used to make a enjoyable and complex beer, but this one was not it. One day I will get to try this one out in my own experiments. Until then, avoid Crazy Ed's Cave Creek Chili Beer- it is a "I dare you to drink it" novelty beer that should never be bought in quantities greater then one bottle.

l8r g33k$

P.S.- This guy it overacting a bit.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The best Video game movies never made

Hollywood is full of people with lots of money and very little in the way of a new idea. That is why all movies seem to be based on books, older movies, TV shows, and yes even video games.

Today I will celibrate the fore mentioned source with the most inconsistant results- Video games. After all they made the Super Mario Brothers Movie and they made the Tomb Raiders. Inconsistant at best.
Here are some movies that should never be made for real.

Zelda

Reason: They would Just fuck it up too much for a poor geek like me to bare.

Tetris

Reason: Since the fall of the Berlin wall movies involving Russian things just don't do it for me any more (James Bond really needs a USSR reunion to make him shine again)

Dig Dug

Reason: OK, You got me. After seeing this preview I will say that this one needs to be made. Best thing to come out of Hollywood since "The Notebook". Your sitting on a Gold Mine Trabeck.

Mario Paint

Reason: Too Art Film to make it in the main stream.

Well I have wasted too much time now.
L8r g33k$


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Google Slut

Google owns me.

Plan and simple, Google is like my sugar mama girlfriend that I have told way too many secrets too; making a possible breakup very ugly. I use it for internet searches, e-mail hosting for all of my emails (even the ones with my custom domains), picture sharing, finding directions, wasting time staring at the planet, keeping up with all my RSS feeds ( I really love this one), and it even host this blog and handles all the ads on it. My favorite thing about all of these services is I don't pay them one cent.

I know I am subjected to thousands of ads over and over again, But I get that kinda thing when I am walking down the street w/ billboards, flayers, store signs, logos on clothes, and even the distinctive sound of a Harley Davidson. So I just don't give a damn that a banner add is sitting off to the side minding its own business. Don't get me wrong, advertising does work, I sometimes even buy the products advertised, but I have never given Google any money directly. I find that incredible. If I were to pay for the services that Google gives me for free, I would probably be paying $15-35 a month plus the cost of all that Google apps software whose alternatives are pricey to say the least.

So this brings the question of what is Google's angle. Am I being taken out on a nice date by Google to just be slipped a mickie and date-raped? (And if it does, will it at least call me in the morning and apologize?) Does it have to resort to date-rape? Would I be willing to just let Google have its way with me if it just asked? I don't want to tip my hand, but I would like Google to know this now "I am very cheap and you try anything I will so go back to my X, Ask Jeeves,"

All I am saying is- keep you eyes open and remember not to share too much of all your personal data with something that seems almost too good to be true.

note: I am gonna find a comp I can install the new Chrome OS onto and put out a review ASAP.